Mom and I have certainly been enjoying the peace and quiet, and getting our schedule back to where it was. She is calmer, sleeping better, and eating good again. I feel much more relaxed but am still dealing with the IBS though it has lessened somewhat. It takes time for my body to get back to normal (whatever that is).
However, the week after D left, he called and asked Mom for money to get through until his first paycheck. She had Sis go to Western Union and wire it right away (I didn’t know where it was).
This made me so angry! Mom lives on Social Security--only--with very little savings put back. She can’t afford to be giving money to him when he had $700 while he was here for 5 weeks and blew nearly all of it on alcohol!
Mom bought the groceries for all of us to eat on and he is a BIG eater! He bought his cigarettes and alcohol only--nothing else. He smokes very little so that was a lot of money spent on booze! I was angry at Mom for giving him her hard-earned money! She was angry for having to do it.
Mom, I wouldn’t have given it to him!
I had to! He doesn’t have any left!
Too bad, he should have thought of that while he was here and saved his money.
Well, he sat here drinking for over a month and did nothing else around here but he’s my son. I have to help him out.
Mom, he is a 50-year-old grown man capable of taking care of himself. You could have told him you couldn’t afford to send him any money and he’d have to fend for himself. I bet he’d never do it again!
That wouldn’t work, he’s always been like this! I have to help him!
He’s always been like this because you’ve always helped him. If you’d let him suffer--just once--he’d learn to be more careful with his money.
In reality, would he? I doubt it. Alcoholics have only that next drink on their mind. They have no sense of responsibility to themselves or others. Lots of experience in that area!!
Goody Update: The first 3 days D was gone, Goody would go into his room looking for him or lay in front of his bedroom doorway as if she was waiting for him. She’s now back to her normal routine also and she sleeping with Mom again like she used to do.
10 comments:
I'm glad you're feeling better now and able to relax in your home. It takes a wee bit longer for our bodies to relax...
I understand both you and your Mum re the money and helping him. I too doubt he will change, but when he gets paid he should really send that money back to your Mum...
Thanks for the update!
Thanks Jonie! He says he'll pay her back but that's been said before and not done. Here's hoping!
Oh my gosh, the stress you must be going through seeing the relationship between your mom and D. It sounds like she’s been an enabler for sometime, and at her age trying to get her to change might be to stressful for everyone.
I might have only sent half of the money and put the other half back into the savings.
Oh who am I kidding I would have sent nothing.
Hi Nancy! Yes, it was terribly stressful for me! My years, living alone, were relatively drama-free and there seems to be a lot of it here. Hard to take sometimes!
I, too, would have sent nothing. I feel no sorrow for someone has put themselves in such a situation and don't try to get out of it.
Keep the faith, kid ... hoping this new job will give D a brighter perspective on things. Hopefully the loan will be repaid soon and he will be successful in his new career. Let's hope for happy outcomes!
Thank you 'FF'! Nice of you to stop by!
Well, at least he got the job and is gone. Even if he doesn't pay her back, you don't have the stress of him being there. If he hadn't gotten the job, she might have been giving him money for booze after his money was gone. Miss your homesteading chronicles. I liked reading about how you survived living in the mountains. (The good things, not about Rick being a drunk and abusive, though.)
Hi grandmamargie!! Nice of you to stop by!
Yes, I've finished telling my story on "All By Myself" so I won't be posting there anymore. I have left it up in hopes that others, in an abusive relationship, will learn something from what I went through.
I just finished reading "All By Myself" and can completely relate! Out of everything, what hit me most was not having to look over your shoulder or restart your seized heart upon seeing a similar vehicle. The first time I drove past my ex's house and didn't have to pull over a mile later to wipe the steering wheel dry, I was probably 5 miles down the road before it hit me: I had passed him and not even noticed. He was no longer in control and I was totally free.
It is these terrible things we survive that make us strong enough to endure the terrible things that happen to our loved ones.
Nauri, how nice of you to take the time to read "ABM"--it is quite long! So, we have something else in common though it is a sad life situation.
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