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Monday, October 26, 2009

A Poem about Alzheimers'

I want to take the opportunity to introduce you to a poetress I have met recently. I have used two of her poems on my 3B Digital Art site.

She sent me the link to this poem she wrote about Alzheimer's Disease and I wanted to share it with all of you....

A LIFE SUSPENDED

In and out they seem to fade
I'm gazing at a faded page;
I reach for faces,
They become currents before me
In the river of my memories,
Then surface clearly,
The sunlight's rays sparkling
On their smiles;

I am a child once again,
Lost
Where is my home?
Just beyond my grasp
There it is!
Somewhere..

Apple pie I smell,
It's sweet aroma of cinnamon
Filling my nostrils;
Laughter I hear,
Is it my own
My children's
Is it of times gone by?

I am within a kaleidoscope
Pieces of colored glass;
Who turns the wheel?
Ever changing in my vision,

Be patient with me
I am the same within,
Though expression wans,

I remember,
I remember
Yes,
I remember
Love.

Nancy Ellen Crossland
6/19/2009
**Dedicated to the victims of Alzheimer's and their loved ones

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Outrageous Drug Prices!

I am appalled at the high cost of drug prices! Mom went for her cataract evaluation and found out not only does she have cataracts in both eyes, she also has glaucoma! She is not showing any symptoms yet so she swore the doc was wrong. It took him, Sis, and me to explain to her that the symptoms won’t show up until it gets worse and too late to do anything about it. She needed to ‘nip it in the bud’ starting now. So, she finally relented and agreed to treatment. Doc called in a prescription for glaucoma eye drops and all was well.

So we thought!

Before going to the pharmacy, I called for the price so Mom would know how much to write the check for so I could pick it up. The eye drops cost $190!! For a one month supply! What!!!???? There was no way she could afford that every month over her lifetime (that’s how long she’ll have to use them), no way anyone in her income bracket could afford that! She is on Social Security and only has Medicare Part A and Part B. She has no prescription coverage at all.

When Mom originally signed up for Medicare, it wasn’t explained very well to her so she didn’t know about the prescription coverage. She has to wait until her birthday--February--before she can make changes on her plan. So, she’s stuck with what she has for now.

Mom said she was not going to do the treatment due to the high cost and I agreed with her. I said I’d see what else could be done.

I got on Wal Mart’s website and looked up their $4.00 prescription plan. There was a list of a dozen different glaucoma eye drops available for $4.00 per month or $10.00 for 3 months. I emailed the doc with the information asking him if she could use one of the cheaper drops. He said she could although those eye drops were less effective, she would have to use them twice per day rather than once. I said that was fine. So, I picked up the order at Wal Mart and all is fine now.

It just enrages me that the drug companies make these wonderful drugs for all kinds of diseases but have them priced so high that many cannot afford them! Where’s the heart in that? It just tells me the companies are in it for the profits and not for the care of a patient. I have a dear friend with severe osteoarthritis pain and there is a wonderful drug available for treatment. It costs $1,000 per month! As that is not affordable for her, she must suffer needlessly!

Outrageous!!

SS Siggy

Monday, October 12, 2009

Baby It's Cold Outside

Well, it was until today. Now, it’s a very warm 80 degrees and sunny--I love it!

But, for the past 5 days, it’s been down to the 40’s at night and low 60’s during the day. On the first cold morning, I got up literally shivering. I had on sweatpants and a t-shirt. I threw on a sweater, fuzzy footies and a pair of slippers. I went over to the thermostat which read 68 degrees.

Now, to many of you, that would normally be quite comfy. But, it’s not normal in this house! This little mobile home was built in 1970. It has very poor insulation. The windows are not glass except for 2 of them, the rest are Plexiglas. As one became broken it became replaced with cheaper Plexiglas. The high, cold Texas wind blows through every crack and crevice. I had my windows closed tight and my curtains were literally blowing in the wind!

I immediately cranked up the heat to 74 degrees and got my clear plastic tape and taped around all of my windows and found that did the trick. I then went around the house and taped up every gap and air leak I could find. It helped but it was still very drafty in here.

Mom got up and came out fully dressed right down to her shoes. She put on a sweater and sat in her chair. Then she threw a blanket over her legs. I told her I’d turned up the heat but it was too soon to make a difference yet. She said “Oh no, don’t do that! It’ll run up the gas bill!” Her gas bill averages $60 a month in the winter because of her habit of staying bundled up and wrapped in a blanket. She said I should do the same! Ummmm--No!

I told her I was not going to bundle up like an Eskimo, there was no reason for it. “Mom, you have the use of this wonderful invention called a furnace. It is capable of keeping you warm while wearing comfy clothes around the house.” She kept on about the cost--a cost she could well afford. I told her everyone else’s gas bill was double that and more and she has done very well keeping her cost down and should be proud of that. I told her I would check into the possibility of the gas company having a budget plan (it does) and we’d get signed up for it. She liked that idea, she’d never heard of it before.

So, she turned up the heat to 78 degrees. Once the house warmed up, she took off the blanket and her shoes, which she replaced with light slippers, and was much more comfortable. I told Sis about it when I saw her. She said she and my brothers argued with her every year about this same subject. They’d come over to visit and it would be almost frosty in here and Mom would be all wrapped up in blankets. Or she’d be running 2 electric heaters and have her electric blanket on. Well, that could pose a fire hazard and runs up the electric bill so it was a no-win situation there, but she didn’t see it that way.

So, we’ll see if she continues to be so agreeable throughout the rest of the season.

On another note, I had lunch 2 Sundays ago with my new found big sis, TJ. We ate and visited for 3 hours! It was a real trip down memory lane for both of us. We told each other of our past, growing up--our marriages--having children, etc.  We have many personality traits that are the same and have many likes and dislikes in common. I hope to see her again real soon. We have lots more to learn about each other.

I gotta go turn on the air conditioning. ‘Til next time..........

SS Siggy

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Blast From The Past!!

During the end of World War II  Mom had served 2 years in the WAAC (Women’s Army Air Corps) as an airplane dispatcher. During that time she had met a tall, dark, and handsome Italian and had an affair. When they were discharged, each went their separate ways--he back to California, she back to Small Town Indiana.

Soon after arriving home, she discovered she was pregnant. Oh my! This was unacceptable back in those days--unmarried and pregnant! Oh no! She lived quietly and kept to herself until she gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Within the first few months of the baby’s life, Mom adopted her out to a preacher and his wife. She went on with her life comforted with the knowledge that her baby would be well taken care of.

Jump to 1964---I am 14 years old and was in our basement searching for whatever a nosy teenager might search for. Underneath a hanging clothing bag I discovered a small black trunk--what’s this? I opened the trunk. There, inside a shirt box, was a baby’s white christening dress and a pair of white satin baby slippers. I thought to myself “I wonder if these were mine?” Beneath the shirt box was a shoe box tied with a string. I slipped off the string, took off the lid and found old letters from a man named G. The letters were to my mother.

I poured over those letters and discovered my mother’s ‘checkered’ past. She and G had exchanged letters for a few months after their discharge from the service. Mom had written to him about a baby named TJ and he didn’t seem interested in being a father or a husband and told her to do whatever she thought best. So, I gathered, from all of this information, that the gown and slippers were TJ’s. Further down in the trunk were a few pictures of a beautiful baby girl with dark hair and dark eyes. On the back of one photo was her birth name, birth date, and the name of the couple who adopted her. I was ecstatic with this discovery! I’ve got an older sister somewhere! Lots of questions came to mind and I felt so frustrated because I knew I couldn’t confront my mother with it. During my teen years, she was a very strict, cold woman and these things simply weren’t talked about.

I put everything back exactly as I found it. I was tormented by this knowledge for many years. I was only able to talk about it with my younger sister who was as enthralled with this mystery as I was. Where was TJ? What was she like now? Was she ever told about her birth mother? My mission was to find the answers to these questions. I vowed that one day I would.

Jump to 1969---I’m 19 years old and pregnant, unmarried with my first daughter. Her father was younger than I and his parents wouldn’t give permission for him to marry. My mother was appalled! This was not acceptable! I would have to give up the baby for adoption! She was angry, irate and not understanding whatsoever! She blurted out what had happened to her when she was pregnant with TJ. I told her I had found the trunk years ago and had always wondered about the baby and how to find her. She was stunned! She calmed down and we talked about her past. I told her I wasn’t going to follow in her footsteps. I was going to keep this baby. She became very quiet as she digested this statement and finally gave up and accepted the fact that I was going to do this--with or without her.

I was never really able to do anything with the facts I’d learned about TJ. Over the years, I’d tried to look up information at the library and through old phone books. I was trying to find her adopted parents but, over time, my memory of the facts became skewed and I didn’t have the right name anymore. I was very frustrated because of this and Mom wasn’t any help. She wouldn’t talk about it anymore. The trunk had been lost, somehow, over the years so I couldn’t look up the info in there either!

The years went by and, in 2001, I was introduced to the world of computers. there was a wealth of information out there in cyberspace. Once I had mastered the workings of the internet, I resumed my search for TJ. I tried, on and off, for the next several years. Four years ago, I posted on Ancestry.com. I typed in all of the pertinent information but all I could find was her birth date and it was under a different name. I wasn’t sure if the info was correct or not. A few phone calls and emails led to a dead end. I gave up and forgot about it for a long time.

3 weeks ago, just before going to bed, I received a message from Ancestry.com that I had a new reply to my post. At first, I had no idea what that post would be about--I’d forgotten. I got on the site and pulled up the message.

“I'm pretty sure I have the right person.  My daughter found your post on ancestry.com last night looking for TJ and has spent the whole day searching for you.  She found your web sites and various other info--Google is her new best friend!  Now all that is left to do is to actually contact each other.  I'm scared and excited all at the same time.  My name is ---------.   Looking forward to receiving a reply.  If you are not Barbara ------- from -----------, I will be sorely disappointed, but please reply anyway to let me know either way.
 Hopefully your sister,
TJ”


I was stunned. I started shaking. I kept repeating ‘oh my god’ over and over again. I simply could not believe it! Yet I knew, at the same time, that this was true--this was real!! I fired off a reply and went to bed knowing it could take a while before she read and replied to the message. When I got up the next morning, the reply was there. I answered and gave her my email address and she emailed me soon after.

How do I tell Mom about this wonderful discovery? I was very nervous to bring it up to her. How would she feel? How would she react? Would this upset her or make her happy. I talked to sis about it first and we agreed this wasn’t something we could keep from her--the truth had to be told.

Surprisingly, she was very calm about it! She said she knew her past would catch up with her one day and TJ would try to find her. I told her about my search for TJ over the years and she was surprised at that revelation, also, but was accepting of it. Over the past 3 weeks, TJ and I have exchanged many, many emails and, each time, I printed them out for Mom to read and she was so happy! We found out TJ had 2 children--a girl and a boy--and Mom would say “I have 2 more grandchildren!”

The BIG surprise was that they all lived right here, for many years! Right here in our West Texas town!! That close and none of us ever knew! Amazing, simply amazing!!

This past Sunday, TJ and her daughter came to visit for the afternoon (her son was out of town at the time). It was a wonderful, happy reunion and one of many, hopefully, to come! The funniest remark was made by Mom after they’d left. “Well, she didn’t look like the TJ that I remember!”  Ummm Mom...it’s been 63 years, she was a baby -- she’s not going to look the same!! Hahaha!!

I will keep you all apprised of future happenings with our newfound family members! We are all so happy and, sometimes, it still doesn’t seem real!! Yeh, what a ‘blast from the past’ it’s been!

SS Siggy